the BUNION
| America’s Finest News Source Not like those Dicks who left Wisconsin for the big money…. |
| CSI SERIES PRODUCERS ANNOUNCE NEW LOCATIONS FOR HIT TV SHOWS |
| Today in Hollywood the very successful TV series with the CSI brands are announcing new locations for the shows. The move took many by surprise because of the popularity and high ratings they currently enjoy. CSI Miami, CSI Las Vegas and CSI New York will all be coming into your living rooms with new exciting cities featured. The producers are saying that these changes are the result of market research and a bid to attract more viewers. The BUNION has since found that the main reason for the switch is due to a dramatic drop in tourism in the cities currently portrayed. Miami was the first to notice the correlation between the shows and cancellations of hotel reservations and events. Juan Ramos, Miami’s city Administrator, was quoted. “CSI Miami is bullshit! Every time there is a show they have people getting massacred. The last one I saw scared the hell out of me. They had some kind of Latin drug lord machine gunning tourist on South Beach. I was afraid to leave my house for two days. I hate them and that dick wad Cain with his stupid sun glasses. We're going to sue the shit out of them!” CSI Miami will now be renamed CSI Weyauwega, WI and feature a Midwestern theme. Locations for the other shows are being discussed as we go to press. Some critics say the reason for choosing the Weyauwega township is that they only have one Lawyer and he drinks a lot. |
| PRESIDENT OBAMA OFFERS SOLUTION TO HIGH COST OF GAS |
| President Says “Hitch Hiking is Cool” You save on gas and meet interesting people. |
PRESIDENT OBAMA PICKS G.W. AS 2012 RUNNING MATE
In a surprise move the President has announced he is dumping Joe Biden in favor of the former
President. White House press releases say this bold move has multiple benefits. The primary is quick
access when it comes to pointing the finger of blame. Press Secretary Del Finkle said that lately
blaming Bush is not working as well as before and putting the former President back in office will
reignite the left.
President. White House press releases say this bold move has multiple benefits. The primary is quick
access when it comes to pointing the finger of blame. Press Secretary Del Finkle said that lately
blaming Bush is not working as well as before and putting the former President back in office will
reignite the left.
| Other DC insiders said that former President Bill Clinton was also in the running. At a secret meeting with Clinton it was rumored that he had said... “Hell Yeah. Can I have an office near Michelle, she’s pretty hot.” Soon thereafter Clinton’s name was pulled from contention. |
| The current VP is said to be quite pissed and asked if he could still hang out at the White House. It has also been reported that Biden was overheard to say he was going to poke George Bush in the ears the next time he saw him. |
American Indians object to ‘Geronimo’ as code for bin Laden raid.
Many American Indian tribes are voicing protest for the use of "Geronimo" as the code name for
Osama bin Laden. The Indian was born near the Gila River in present-day Arizona and rode into
history as the legendary Apache warrior Geronimo.
The iconic transmission from the raid offended many:
“Geronimo EKIA.” Geronimo, Enemy Killed in Action.
White House Spokesperson Wayne Bickel acknowledged that the choice of that name was in poor
taste. He also stressed that it was an oversight and will not happen again.
“Next time we go after bin Laden we hope to change the code.”
When asked what the name will be, he replied. “Gumby”
Osama bin Laden. The Indian was born near the Gila River in present-day Arizona and rode into
history as the legendary Apache warrior Geronimo.
The iconic transmission from the raid offended many:
“Geronimo EKIA.” Geronimo, Enemy Killed in Action.
White House Spokesperson Wayne Bickel acknowledged that the choice of that name was in poor
taste. He also stressed that it was an oversight and will not happen again.
“Next time we go after bin Laden we hope to change the code.”
When asked what the name will be, he replied. “Gumby”
Volume 1, Issue 1